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Dear DF Family

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Cman6025, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. Cman6025

    Drifter

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2016
    Messages:
    15
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    Disclaimer: those who are sensitive to topics such as abuse, death, of suicide shouldn't read this. You have been warned ^.^



    Hey, sooo most of you guys know me or, know about me. If not, I am Cman6025, I joined DF in late 2016. To put that in perspective that's when all the older players like Luxpie, Waffle, all of the Gimbles known as the Gimble Squad, Nich, and magicallyuseless, still played and were on almost every day. When I joined the server I was greeted with

    "Welcome to DigitalForge" from all the online players, it was from that point that I knew I wanted to be a part of this server.


    Over the next year I met more people, made more friends and most of all, I had fun. The DF community became my family, I was happy, and enjoying myself for the first time in years. but what most people didn't know was, my homelife was extremely chaotic, my mom had an abusive boyfriend, she relapsed, and my dad had just died.


    Now, yes, I know that I probably wasn't the only one with family issues, but to younger me, that was a hell of a lot to deal with. I didn't really have anyone that I could talk to, it's times like these that a person needs a friend to go to. And that's what I tried to do, I went to my best (irl) "friends" I told them what was happening and they did all the right things, they comforted me, they reassured me, they hugged me and told me "that everything was going to be just fine", they promised that they would always be there for me, and naïve 12 year old me believed them.


    But later that year they told the whole school about what was happening at home, they shared all my secrets, they "stabbed me in the back", figuratively speaking. They were supposed to be my friends. I had known them since 2nd grade, I was there for them anytime they needed someone, was it wrong to think they would be there for me?


    After that, my entire personality changed, my heart was hardened, and I let the anger "consume me", for lack of a better term, I shutdown, I became angry at everything, I didn't trust anyone, and my behaviour showed it. I became extremely depressed, rude, hateful, cruel, manipulative, etc... The old me was gone. And that caused most of my relationships with people on DF became strained. At the time I didn't realize that, and I kept at it, slowly ruining my relationships with my friends on DF.


    Then, the final blow happened, my one true friend, the one who had been there with me through thick and thin, the one that I had known since I was 4 committed suicide..........


    I broke

    that was the time where I left DF for months, I didn't respond to anyone, I didn't talk to anyone. I came back but it brought flash-backs, things got so hard that I almost committed suicide, but everyone's favourite manager

    (@SineXTroid) talked me out of it. but during that event, I unknowingly burnt some bridges.

    More recently I took another break, and during said break, I dealt with all of these damn things called "emotions" and my Doctor and I did the impossible, we got the right medication combination. So I have dealt with the depression (for the most part), the anger, and hatred. I also believe that I have dealt

    with the rudeness, and for the most part, stopped being an asshole, but you guys can be the judge of that.

    So, the point of this "book" [​IMG] would be that; I've changed, and I would like to apologize to everyone that I may have offended, angered, annoyed, etc.. And I hope that you guys might be able to forgive me.



    ~Sincerely, Cman6025


    Sola

    Virtus

    Invicta
     
    SineXTroid likes this.
  2. SineXTroid

    Manager

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
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    Was good ol' times on DF when everyone was around! There are always struggles in life but that's why we learn to overcome them. Always try to find something postive. Throw all the darkness away and fill your mind with good thoughts. Always look forward not backwards and follow any goals in life that keeps you going.
     
  3. Pisti

    Pioneer

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2013
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    This has finally been topped.
     
    Cman6025 and SineXTroid like this.
  4. Cman6025

    Drifter

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2016
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    Thanks
     

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